Driving Me Crazy

7 Reasons Why I Hate Driving In Cape Town

 

Source: benonicitytimes

 

7. Insufficient parking – Before I decide to go somewhere in CT, my first thought is: what will the parking situation be? Will I have to park miles away from where I need to be and be accosted by an aggressive homeless person, a self-appointed car guard in a tattered neon vest or a guy selling proteas and cocaine - or all three? Will I have to use up a tank of petrol while circling the city's network of one-way streets in search of a parking space?

6. Lethargic trucks – Being stuck behind a truck crawling up a hill is painful (especially around the Plattekloof exit). If they are not causing traffic by driving in the "wrong" lane, they are losing their loads or breaking down, causing obstructions and traffic jams that can stretch for kilometres.

5. Drivers who create an extra lane – We’ve all seen these idiots on the N1, who, because they can’t bear to wait in traffic like the rest of us, speed past in an exit or merge lane and then try squeeze in front of cars further ahead. Don’t let these tossers in – let them sit on the side of the road and think about what they've done.

4. Drivers who blatantly disregard traffic laws – I’m not talking about exceeding the speed limit by 20km per hour or not coming to a complete stop at a stop street. I’m talking about drivers who use the N1 as their personal Autobahn. Or drivers who overtake a long line of cars, with oncoming traffic, thereby endangering motorists on either side of the road – yes, I’m talking to you taxi drivers. Or drivers who toss litter from their cars? I honk my horn and shame the bastards and I encourage you all to do the same. A subcategory of this pet peeve is drivers who don't know traffic laws: see four-way stops. Do I go? No, you go. No, you go. Okay I'll go. FFS.

3. CT drivers who are scared of the rain – I would think that living through countless CT winters would equip locals with the necessary skills to drive in wet conditions. Apparently not. OMG, water is falling from the sky and making the roads wet. What do I do? Is this the accelerator – no, it’s the brake! I can’t operate my indicators and windshield wipers at the same time! Panic attack! I understand the need to drive cautiously in wet weather conditions, with poor visibility and flooded roads, but there is a difference between driving cautiously and driving like a moron.

2. #CTTrafficMustFall. I saw this hashtag on Twitter recently and, after being stuck in traffic several times, I agree wholeheartedly. Besides the aforementioned parking problems, I also have to consider traffic before deciding when to drive anywhere as well as the direction in which I am headed. Nightmare traffic is not limited to the N1 and N2 mind you. A dependable and extensive public transport system would go a long way to alleviate the problem, but unfortunately the city’s public transport is not a viable alternative for everyone. Trains are always delayed (signal issues or vandalism), not to mention their questionable safety, while MyCiti bus routes are limited to certain areas in the city, compelling people to rely on cars.

1. Obnoxious drivers – My ultimate annoyance when it comes to driving in CT is drivers who sit right on my ass, like they are trynna get with my Getz. Um, I cannot drive through the obvious traffic in front of me. My research shows that nine times out of ten, the culprits are Audis and BMWs . I get it, your car can go very very fast (to compensate for your little winky) but that is no excuse to bully the rest of us on the roads. I now have a bumper sticker that reads: "The closer you get, the slower I drive" and I won’t lie, I derive a little perverse pleasure from deliberately driving slower and watching the wankers in their pretentious Peugeots trying to sodomise my humble Hyundai turn fifty shades of red.