The Baddest Bitches on the Silver Screen
We love to loathe them. Their constant conniving and calculating and cutting words keep us glued to our screens and deep down, despite their morally questionable actions, we want them to succeed. They exude power and confidence and display a resilience that we envy. It was Latrice Royale, of
Ru Paul's Drag Race fame, who boldly declared that Bitch means "Being in Total Control of Herself" and the following bad-ass bitches certainly epitomise that definition.
7. Pam - True Blood
Source: hbo.com
Pam epitomised the concept of RBF, Resting Bitch Face. One look from Pam was enough to instil fear in the hearts of humans and vampires alike. She kicked ass in six-inch heels without a hair from her blonde coiffure falling out of place. She was particularly bitchy when it came to Sookie; her fairy-hating insults never failed to make you laugh out loud.
"I don't know what it is about me that makes people think I want to hear their problems. Maybe I smile too much. Maybe I wear too much pink. But please remember I can rip your throat out if I need to. And also know that I am not a hooker. That was a long, long time ago".
6. Victoria Grayson - Revenge
Victoria graduated from the Lady Macbeth School of Bitch, with honours. She lived by the adage: "Look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under't". She always had a fake smile on her face, masking her malicious schemes and murderous intentions. No one could stand on the balcony of a mansion with the fire of wrath in her eyes like Victoria could. She also had a knack for throwing the most awesome soirees at the Grayson mansion which she later blew up in an effort to fake her own death.
5. Sue Sylvester - Glee
Sue was perhaps the most bizarre bitch to grace our screens. She wore tracksuits, drove a Le Car, married herself and had a love child with Michael Bolton (the two met in the 80s when Sue saved him from choking on his own curly locks). Sue frequently went on rampages through the halls of McKinley High, pushing aside anything or anyone who stood in her way. She bullied and insulted the misfits of the Glee club, which she was hell-bent on destroying, along with Will Schuster, her arch nemesis with brillo pad hair. In a Christmas episode, she was portrayed as the Grinch who stole Christmas - you don't get meaner than that! Her insults were both classic and cringe-worthy and made for some of the most hilarious moments in the show's history.
4. Cherel De Villiers Haines - Isidingo
Let's face it,
Isidingo has not been the same since Cherel's departure. No one comes close to her sharp tongue and even sharper schemes. She made the Chumbawamba song her anthem: "I get knocked down but I get up again, you are never gonna keep me down." Among her most despicable deeds was killing her husband's son, wrapping him up in a Turkish carpet like a burrito and tossing him down a mine shaft.
3. Cersei Lannister - Game of Thrones
Incest, mass murder and the torture of nuns, among other despicable acts, have made Cersei one of the baddest bitches in all of the seven kingdoms. Despite her truly evil past, we couldn't help but sympathise with her when she was subjected to her walk of shame, and therefore shared in the sweet taste of her revenge as she sipped on a glass of wine and watched all the religious zealots in Kings Landing disappear in one green explosion. Perhaps now that she is queen, she can afford to get a decent hair cut. A bitch should not have the same hairdo as her dead son.
Cersei to Tyrion: "You are as big a fool as every other man. That little worm between your legs does half your thinking".
2. Tanya Turner Laslett Federico - Footballers' Wives
From the bleached blonde hair to the spray tan, false nails and false eyelashes - very little of Tanya Turner was real, but that was part of her appeal. We loved her because she was so fabulously trashy. She was a power-hungry bitch who would stop at nothing to secure her fortune. This was the woman who literally screwed her husband, the revolting Frank Laslett, to death. After an epic baby-swopping plot, she even got one of her minions to apply self-tan to a baby so that her nemesis, Amber, would think that it was her baby. Tanya always found a way out of any mess she found herself in. We knew when she took a drag from the fag between her trembling taloned fingers that she was plotting something deliciously devious.
1. Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan - Dynasty
Without a doubt, Alexis wrote the bitch handbook. From that first episode, when she looked up from under that wide-brimmed hat on the witness stand in one of many Blake Carrington trials, she established herself as a force to be reckoned with. She lied, she manipulated, she fought blonde former stenographers in lily ponds - all to maintain her position as the baddest bitch in Colorado. And she looked amazing while doing it, from her over-the-top head-to-toe fur ensembles to her massive shoulder padded blouses and matching headbands; her looks always said, very loudly, "don't mess with me."
Dex: “Alexis you’re perverse.”
Alexis: “Yes I know, but deliciously so….”
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