Too Wong Foo...

Starring:  Patrick Swayze, Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo

Year:  1995

Running Time: 109 minutes

To Wong Foo follows the adventures of a trio of drag queens – Noxeema (Snipes), Vide (Swayze) and Chi Chi (Leguizamo) – as they travel from NYC to the Drag Queen Pageant of America in Hollywood.  Their 1967 Cadillac breaks down in the one-horse town of Snydersville where they soon find themselves adding some literal and figurative colour to the mundane lives of the locals, particularly the women.

The movie starts with Noxeema and Vida getting ready for a pageant at Webster Hall.  On the runway, the queens strut to a fabulous remix of Tom Jones’ She’s a Lady.  The reigning queen, Rachel Tension (played by none other than RuPaul), descends from the ceiling in an ironic confederate flag ensemble before handing over her crown to the new winners – plural, since Noxeema and Vida have tied for first place and have won themselves plane tickets to Hollywood to participate in the next big pageant.

Backstage, the ladies come across a distraught Chi Chi and ask: “Little Latin boy in a drag, why are you crying?”  Chi Chi is disheartened because she feels she will never realise her dream of becoming a pageant queen.  A pang of motherly love prompts Vida to suggest they cash in their tickets and take her with them to Hollywood.  While making travel arrangements with the ridiculously named John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt (Robin Williams), Vida eyes an autographed photo from her idol, Julie Newmar, and swiftly takes it with her, to take Ms Newmar with them across the US.

It is clear that Chi Chi still has a lot to learn about becoming a fully-fledged drag queen and Aunties Noxeema and Vida share their proverbial pearls of wisdom with her, outlining four key lessons that Chi Chi must learn (dispersed throughout the film):

Let good thoughts be your sword and shield

Ignore adversity

Abide by the rules of love

Larger than life is just the right size

On their journey, they encounter a racist and homophobic cop who tries to take advantage of Vida (seemingly unaware of what lies between her thighs).  She pushes him and he falls to the ground.  The queens believe he is dead and hysterically flee the scene.  However, their car breaks down and good Samaritan, Bobby Ray, picks up the damsels in distress and drives them to the nearest town of Snydersville.

Here the ladies soon make themselves at home, sprucing up their room to make it more bearable as they wait for their car to be repaired.  They find themselves getting closer to the locals, painting the town shades of fabulous and helping the oppressed women of the town to find their voices once again.  The plot culminates at the town’s annual Strawberry Social and Noxeema, Vida and Chi Chi inspire a “Red and Wild” theme for this year’s festivities but not before a few villains get what they deserve and a few cocky boys are schooled in the art of how to treat a lady by Ms Noxeema.

The film feels like it wants to be an American iteration of the queer Australian classic, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert but is unwilling to do what it takes to do so.  Perhaps the producers were cautious of a more conservative audience (yawn) and needed a watered down trio of drag queens to have a better shot at box office success (the film grossed over $36 million). The queens have their bitchy moments but fall short of throwing the right amount of shade to be laugh-out-loud funny.  The film also lacks a strong soundtrack, which Priscilla boasts; Cyndi Lauper’s fantastic Hey Now only features right at the end of the film for example.

Having said that, it was a fun, feel-good film with important messages about self-acceptance, authenticity and imagining good things are around the corner – in addition to the four lessons that Vida and Noxeema share with Chi Chi.  The three male leads do a convincing job as the vivacious drag queens and it did not feel as though they are “trying too hard” in their respective roles.  There are rumblings of a Broadway adaptation of the film and I’d be interested to see if and how it translates to the stage. Chances are, I’ll go and see it because, while it may not be Priscilla, it is a heartwarming story with just the right amount of humour and sparkle.