A Very Brady Sequel

 

Starring: Shelley Long, Gary Cole, Michael McKean, Christine Taylor, Jennifer Elise Cox, Oliva Hack, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Paul Sutera, Jesse Lee Soffer, Henriette Mantel

Year: 1996

Running Time:  90 minutes

The Bradys are back, serving funkadelic fashion, life lessons and a mix of wholesome naivete and sexual innuendo.  This time their seemingly perfect family is put to the test when a stranger claiming to be Carol’s deceased husband, Roy Martin, shows up.  While everyone is initially blinded by his good looks and his tales of adventures, something is clearly amiss.  We find out that he was Carol’s actual dead husband’s partner on an expedition in Thailand where they uncovered a valuable ceramic horse, which Carol’s husband then sent to her for safekeeping before he was killed at sea (thanks to Trevor).  He has tracked the horse down to the Brady residence, leading him to concoct an unlikely story of amnesia and plastic surgery accounting for why he looks different from how Carol remembers him.

The kids also have their own issues to deal with:  Greg is embracing his manhood (no pun intended…although…) and looking for a space to call his own while struggling with awkward sexual tension with Marsha, who is struggling with similar urges when it comes to Greg; Peter is trying to decide on a career path and one that is not necessarily in his father’s footsteps; Jan continues to face middle child insecurities and jealousy towards Marsha, causing her to invent a boyfriend (the iconic George Glass), while Bobby and Cindy are on a mission to find her missing doll Kitty Karry-All.

Much like its predecessor, A Very Brady Sequel is absolute, unadulterated nonsense - and that is precisely where its magic lies. It’s the perfect escape from the real world right now, especially with those hilarious one-liners tucked into every scene, and one can’t help but wonder if we’d all be better off living in the Brady world.

Some of my personal highlights from the film:

• Alice’s tub of lard when she’s making her famous meatloaf
• The enormous house of cards the children build to decide who will win the space in the attic
• [The exchange at the breakfast table when Jan comes up with a name for her non-existent boyfriend]
  Jan Brady: His name is George.
  Marcia Brady: George what?
  Jan Brady: George, uhhh Tropicana!
  Carol Brady: What a nice name. Is he Cuban?
  Jan Brady: No i mean... Glass. George Glass
  Marcia Brady: That's funny. I've never heard of a George Glass at our skewl.
  Jan Brady: That's because he's a transfer student. He came in the last week of school. He's really good looking and he thinks I'm super cool.
  Marcia Brady: Sure, Jan.
• The return of RuPaul as Mrs Cummings - this time she brings three of her own kids, who mirror the Brady girls, with the middle child complaining that it’s always “Moisha, Moisha, Moisha!”
• David Spade as Carol’s hairstylist
• Jan calling a men’s chat line to pretend she’s talking to George Glass
• Cameos by Zsa Zsa Gabor and Rosie O’Donnell
• Jan using a mannequin as a stand-in for George Glass
• [Talking about the music he likes]
  Warren Mulaney: Well, I'm really into hip hop.
  Marcia: Hip hop? Sounds like something a rabbit listens to
• [When Roy is threatening to take Carol at gun point]
  Cindy Brady: You can't take my mommy!
  Marcia Brady: Cindy's right! Take Jan!
• When they’re all tied up on the staircase with each one’s internal voice saying “this is all my fault” - except for Marsha who thinks, “this is all Jan’s fault”
• Jan meeting an actual boy named George Glass in Hawaii
• The giant ball of yarn that the Bradys use to track down Carol